~if you should stand, then who's to guide you?~

WARNING: this will be a long, introspective post with insufficient pictoral evidence...

Been on the road for a month and a day. Here are some of the reflections floating around in my head. Maybe they're nonsense and maybe they're obvious. You decide:

1) Trust is misplaced if it contradicts reason. Rational people take advantage of strangers. It is not wrong of them to do so.
2) Don't get attached. If I were to play my 25 years in fast forward I could see that many people, good people, come and go in a maniacal frenzy. Each has their own destination. I'm learning to be grateful when their paths intersect mine and accept it when our paths diverge.
3) Plans are important as long as you understand their cost. Itineraries pose an infinite opportunity cost. Simply put, to choose and stubbornly cling to a set of destinations, one resigns the opportunity to explore every other destination that may spring up.
4) Great friends can be made in a night. Of the 7 billion people roaming this Earth, you never know when you'll run into one that can leave a lasting impression. You'll never suspect where they're from and never guess how they got here. Moreover, you may not see them again in your life. So always be ready to stay out for another drink.
5) Most importantly, if you ever think you come from the best country, best culture, best religion, etc. you're a closed-minded idiot. This is NOT an opinion and if you don't believe me, you should get out more.

Enough. Here's my Cambodian narrative:
The Ankor Wat ruins were cool but Cambodia is not for me. Political corruption keeps the citizenry poor. For instance, Cambodia's greatest national treasure and one of the wonders of the world is owned by a Vietnamese company. That means that every entry ticket sold to see this breath-taking architectural and historical jewel goes to support Vietnamese profiteers instead of desperately poor locals. I'm not a bleeding heart idealist but I have to admit that it's a pretty stupid system. The locals I've talked to agree. What this means for the traveler: prepare to be accosted by every tuk tuk driver, every child, every vendor, every security guard, every store owner, every hotel receptionist, etc. for their side job. (A side effect: people here speak good English.) Cops are Tuk-Tuk drivers on their free time, farmers are tour guides, friendly locals are criminally dangerous scammers and so on. I've heard of four separate instances in Phnom Penh of tourists  getting taken in by nice locals, treated to drinks and cigarettes, and taken to an underground casino to get robbed sometimes thousands of dollars (I've even met a victim). It's not nice but we make it too easy for them bumbling around with fanny packs and clueless smiles. Ankor Wat, a complex of over 50 elaborate and gorgeous temples set up over 1000 years ago, a sacred place of Hindu and Buddhist worship, is infested with families peddling souvenirs and overpriced street food and whoring their kids out to sell you postcards and magnets. Why? Tourists can afford it and locals can't afford not to.

But here's a different perspective. The first day of my visit, I biked past an Israeli kid and told him to look out for elephants that I'd spotted. Later on, wandering down from a hilltop temple, I stumbled into him sitting at a riverside tent drinking with locals. I joined them and many more locals came, feeding me beer, freshly caught fish, chicken soup and even dog! We sat and laughed and sang and swam and taught each other our respective languages. I offered to pay but they wouldn't let me. It was SO refreshing to be treated as a human being and not a overstuffed wallet with four limbs. For four hours, I was a guest in Cambodia and not a prospective customer. I shouldn't have taken it for granted.

The next day, my French buddy, Johan, and I biked to catch the sun rise over Ankor Wat (the central temple and name sake). It was a nice but over-touristed experience.

We snooped around a few temples until it was irrefutably time for a nap.

Wandering past a band of land mine victims playing for charitable donations, we split off from the main road into a random shack for a quick snooze. We awoke to a half dozen temple guards gathering together to cook a meal. They charitably shared it with us and, after some polite conversation, insisted on being our tour guides the next day. Johan, got away easy as he was bound for the night bus that evening but I had to weasel my way out (i.e. wait till the guy fell asleep and sneak off). Before I escaped the locals explained something to us that made a lot of sense. Unwilling to openly criticize the government, they established that there 'is a lot of corruption' in their country. This meant that the citizens are poor. They related that, of course, the guards just want to be guards and don't want to always snoop around for side jobs but they can't afford not to. They said we are very privileged and very rich to be traveling overseas like this (I agree with everything they were saying by the way). And for us, the $25 they wanted to charge me to ride around to different temples is nothing. For them, it's a week's salary. The guy had a point but I still didn't need the service, so after politely declining several times, I had to take the cowards way out and disappear.

Last night I went out for a few drinks with a Dutch actress and musician, Jose. We caught some live music and spent hours entangled in awesome conversation.

We discussed some of the ideas above as well as spirituality, culture, passion, art, and life. She inspired me to enlist in a 10 day silent meditation retreat at a famous monastery in Southern Thailand. So I scrapped my plans for the next few weeks and bought 2AM bus to Bangkok that I'm currently awaiting. There, I'll catch a flight to Krabi, a nice sea-side resort town. Luckily, Luke, Henry and Mike from my Chiang Mai days are all in Krabi so I'll get to kick it with them for a bit before sobering up at the retreat.

After having circumcised 5 millimeters of my right pinky on a curb yesterday, I decided to take it easy today. I've been writing emails, skyping and doing admin work. It has been a much needed sit at home and catch up day. I have a feeling I'll be grateful for it when I get to Krabi. Maybe I'll update this before the retreat but if not - no access to the outside world from June 1 - June 11. Adios.

~hot for seven weeks now, too hot to even speak now~

Greetings from Don Det of the infamous 4000 islands: a little establishment of fishing villages whoring themselves out for tourists. You'll find two bbq joints on the half mile strip of the 'town center' and a couple TVs rolling hollywood flicks where everyone hangs out. Here's The Big Lebowski entertaining us for the evening.

Its not as bad as Vang Vieng where a friends, big bang theory, and family guy rerun epidemic has consumed the town. The irony is that none of the locals speak a lick of English so it must seem extra weird for them that every tv in every restaurant is playing shows that no one understands punctuated by intermittent taped audience laughter.

But anyway, my last day in Vang Vieng was spent in the international ritual of drunkenly floating down the Mekong. It was everything it was hyped up to be. Meet a lot of fellow floaters, play drinking games, ping pong, and volleyball, and collect free shots and bracelets at the three river bars.

I managed to add to my rapidly accumulating wound collection by slicing my toe open in a vicious ping pong battle. We didnt make make it to the fourth and final bar as we'd lost track of time and didnt want to lose our deposit for the tubes. Of course, I got scammed when the tuk tuk driver lost my tube and they didnt want to give me my deposit back. But hey, scamming tourists is as deeply ingrained in Lao culture as Grandma's apple pie or FDR's fireside chats are in ours. I made a big drunken scene and occupied the vehicle before the rental agency agreed to split the difference.

Then came the barage of busses (VV-Vientienne-Pakse-little ferry town) before the ferry took us to Don Det (where Been There Don Det tank tops are the pinnacle of fashion). The night bus was actually pretty cool because it wasnt full so my bunkmate could branch out to a different cot; otherwise it would have been close-quarter napping for twelve hours.

The lights and stars winking out the window are a nice touch.

And as for biding our time in this humid, sticky paradise, napping seems to the national passtime but Jonas, our German-Swiss friend Sherine and I managed to resist yesterday and bike down to the waterfall where we dipped into the water and lounged for a few hours.

It's still part of the Traveller's Circuit here (aka Banana Pancake Trail) so at nights we meet up with trekkers from around the globe and discuss culture, religion, and the absurdities of US foreign policy. In the two nights here we've befriended a cool Dutch PhD student studying fisheries, a Californian teaching English and music in Cambodia, a Swedish wanderer. Today my vegan acquaintance from Pai just stopped by and we're expecting a group from our slow boat to arrive any minute.

The 100+ degree heat really takes it out of you so swatting flies and peeling sunburn seem to be the only manageable exertions of effort. Throw a few pineapple fruit shakes, a casual riverside sunset, a few cool beerlao and some easy chatting and voi la, I'm in bliss. The water buffalo have the right idea.

But no rest for the weary; tomorrow I board a train for Siem Reap, Cambodia. The Ankor Ruins await!

~I dont trust to nothing but I know it comes out right~

There are four main religions in Laos: Theravada Buddhism, Animism, Spirit worship (officially banned but common), and Christianity. There are also other 100 distinct ethnicities that compose the 5+ million population. The result: Laos is a giant melting pot where tribesfolk and city dwellers with bloodlines from Tibet to Malaysia peacefully coexist under a communist government that most everyone likes. Except for one group, the Hmong. There are actually more Hmong in California than Laos because after siding with the US in the American War (what the most bombed country in history calls the Vietnam War) they were outcast from society and many followed there leader to the States.

But we did get to visit a Hmong community. Five of us hired two guides (both named Sais) to take us into the mountains. This trek wasn't as rigorous as my solo journey around Mae Hong Son but the community waiting for us at the top was better. The hilltribe village of 75 families was half Hmong and half Kamu. They were all very very shy but the Chief's family did manage to interact minimally with us through our Sais translators. The journey was packed with tasty Laos food including spicy eggplant, buffalo skin in chilli paste and grilled fish all scooped up with sticky rice and fingers. This is no country for germaphobes. Up in the village, we met a Russian girl who was just taking a ten day break from her year of chilling on Bali. We played this fantastic blend of volleyball and hackysack called Kataw with the local schoolkids. We also played American, German, and Laos drinking games with the infamous LaoLao - local moonshine circa 50%. Altogether it was a magical night.

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The next day, a quick hike preceeded a half day Kayaking trip down the Namu river. It was fun and we hit a few Class 2 rapids but everyone got pretty burnt from being out in the sun. That night one of the guides took us out to his brother's restaurant for Lao food and then to a Lao dance club. The music was hysterically bad - we're talking Barbie Girl and Happy Birthday mixed into the tunes - but the three of us healthy enough to go out still had a good time.

The next day, after a quick trip to the ethnology museum, Jonas and I shared a life threatening experience of taking a van through hairpin turn mountain roads flying 70 kph toward Vang Vieng. But we finally made it. We met up with Erica who had beat us to the town by a couple days and we drank shakes and chilled by the river while Jonas departed for the epic Jungle Party they have here on Friday nights.

On the topic of party, Vang Vieng is a partygoers paradise. They actually had to close down all the river bars because people kept dying. Three reopened recently but are much more tame than before. The regular bars in town all sell weed, opium, mushrooms, and nitrous balloons out in thr open although the crime is punishable by death. Plain-clothed policeman, happily watch the transactions take place and the follow the floating westerners to bust them for smoking joints. 400 usd will save you a jail sentence. Its pretty messed up if you ask me, but its just one of many scams designed to redistribute western wealth to Laos. Integrity is a scarce resource in this country.

Overall our timing was pretty good. Yesterday we witnessed one of two festivals in Laos - the rocket festival! Local men crossdress  and parade down the streets on pickup trucks blasting music. Finally, theyshoot off rockets to the sky for four hours to piss off the Gods so it rains. Oddly enough, yesterday evening was the biggest thundershorm I've seen in a while, with part of our hostel's roof collapsing and rain flying sideways a la Forest Gump. It was pretty cool to watch actually. We also managed to bike 7 km in the midday heat (me stupidly on a city bike) up rocky unpaved roads to the Blue Lagoon where we jumped of tree branches and ropeswings and played Volleyball with some Japanese kids that were on our slowboat into Laos.

Today the agenda includes tubing down the river bars and trying not to get burnt. Wish me luck!

~come and join the party every day~

Last night I had to tip someone for not stealing my bag. Earlier we paid over 3 times what it cost others to get a ride to a waterfall. I haggled my way to one quarter of a quoted price at the market. The day before I almost got scammed by a local in another village. WELCOME TO LAOS! If you can put up with poor communist villagers trying to separate tourists from their money, its not such a bad place. It helps to remember that what they'll brag to their friends about as a point blank highway robbery is only 3 or 4 bucks for you. I know they need the money more than me but its just frustrating to be viewed as a gullible sack of gold.

So despite the 3 day commute to get to Luang Prabang, the experience of the river boat was probably the most fun I've had here. Imagine 60 tourists and travelers from all walks of life and every continent sandwiched with 20 Lao on a river boat that can comfortably seet 50 people. Your floating about 8 hours each day in 90 humid degrees the whole way.

So an extended game of I spy broke the ice, which trailed into general conversation and polite typical travel inquiries before finally culminating into an hours long jam session with one ukelaile and the rest random object that make sounds when percussed. We went through singing all we can remember of the full gambit of pop music. From pink floyd to nsync. Beerlao was served and consumed immoderately.

The overnight was spent in a tiny riverside village spawned to sell passers by drugs and beds. We assembled into a 7 piece cast of germans, americans and a swiss guy and bargained for a good rate on a room. We spent the night climbing along the river rocks and partying a bit more. The next day on the boat was a bit more tame but we still played cards and I even learned the lao version of the game, president.

The main bar here in Luang Prabong is called Utopia and its run by an american and set up right on the Mekong river offering patrons gorgeous riverside sunsets and even free volleyball. Naturally I got a game in as well as some foosball. The next day we went to the waterfall and swam around.

It was a nice hike to the top and afforded me some good conversation with my German pals Benny, Lars, and Mo. Their buddy Adrian just left the hostel today to try to hitchhike all the way to Bangkok, an obscenely long distance down these crappy roads, in a day and half before his flight back to germany takes off. If he misses this one, it'll be the third flight hes postponed!

Its actually been 15 hrs since I wrote the rest of this post and I already have stories about the 6AM ritual alms giving ceramony in this city, the buddha caves, Lars swimming and getting stuck across the big river, random riverside elephants, hilltop temple sunsets, incessant haggling, and a legendary 1 dollar all you can eat buffet. As you can tell,  the days are jampacked. And I'm really tired. So no more story time. Good night. Maybe random pictures will suffice. Oh yeah, happy Buddha's birthday to all!

~set out runnin' but I take my time~

Seven things I learned about riding a motorbike in Thailand:

7. Painted lines are to be treated as imaginary until lives are at stake
6. Driving at night is foolish- you can see the gorgeous landscape better during the day
5. Kilometers were invented to make Americans feel like they're going faster
4. Strap headphones backwards to the helmet for cruisin' music
3. Stop often to take pictures
2. The human face makes for a terrible windshield
1. Riding full throttle for extended periods of time makes for horrible fuel economy - but gas is very cheap :-)

I spent 6 days cruising through the gorgeous Mae Hong Son loop complete with over 1800 twists and turns, many hairpin turns among them. The scenic drive takes me through lush green mountains covering NW thailand.

I got delayed an extra night around the actual town of Mae Hong Son when the opportunity presented itself to go on a hilltribe jungle trek guided by an actual White Karen tribesman who spoke remarkably good English. The journey was fairly rough as I was drenched with sweat for 4+ hours of climbing each way. We even had to wade through a river knee deep. But in the end, I was rewarded with a pretty unique taste of tribe culture

and a few snake and monkey sightings along the way.

In the village where we stayed the night, only two families remained as the tribesmen, after hundreds of years of settlement, are following their children to the cities. It's a bit sad but understandable. I guess the 21st century will eventually catch up to everyone. Meanwhile that 77 year old lady you see climbs 4-6 hours down and up the mountain every week to see her 26 grandkids at a settlement at the foot of the mountain! Hard work and healthy food can do that to you.

But I'm okay with no work and delicious unhealthy food for the next 2.5 months! Off to catch a bus to Laos.

Sawat-dii Kahp

~gone are the days when we stopped to decide where we should go - we just ride~

So I finished my first book on the road, my fifth Tom Robbins: Another Roadside Attraction. As with all Robbins, the masterpiece is packed to the brim with all things meaningful and comical. I thought I'd share a quote:

"The principal difference between an adventurer and a suicide is that the adventurer leaves himself a margin of escape (the narrower the margin the greater the adventure), a margin whose width and length may be determined by unknown factors but whose successful navigation is determined by the measure of the adventurer's nerve and wits. It is always exhilarating to live by one's nerves or toward the summit of one's wits."

To me, it's a pretty spot on depiction of why people push themselves to the limits of adventure.

So after three days at Pai's notorious circus school

I can juggle three balls, walk half a slackline, and do four poi tricks - if i could upload this stupid video, I could demonstrate just how poorly I can do the poi tricks. But alas! 

Aside from aimless play, Pai offered me a very friendly traveller community, the best food I've had so far in Thailand (thanks to Greg's thoughtful suggestion),

A nice little waterfall where I did some good writing, a gorgeous canyon, a random settlement of Chinese refugees from communism, and truly breathtaking views from anywhere in the town

I wouldn't be far amiss by calling this place the Boulder, CO of Thailand, but, to borrow a phrase from Japhy of Dharma Bums (and likely elsewhere) "comparisons are odious".

Anyway, this morning I had a urge to wander so I packed up and headed for the hills. Three hours Northwest, I landed in Mae Hong Son which is a pretty sizable town of absolutely zero appeal to the tourist. So I'm just admiring the view from this cafe

and wondering where I'll be sleeping tonight. In fact, I think I'll explore a bit and solve that problem.

Later!

~you must really consider the circus~

So to decide whether it was a good idea to buy greg's bike, I decided to rent a bike and take a small solo journey for a day. The destination: a tiny obscure Black Lahu hilltribe village jungle lodge. The tribe, a poor seminomadic sect of farmers, kept to itself and I spent most of my time chatting with the thai lady who runs the lodge. I happened to be the only guest for the night. It was a great, relaxing experience Complete with a delicious thai stir fry, pek mak mak (very very spicy), and a gorgeous sunrise over the jungle.

Upon driving an hour and half back to Chiang Mai the next morning, I was even more ambivalent about buying the stupid bike. I did what I always do when faced with difficult decisions: let fate decide! The test - a coin toss - decided that I was not to buy it. My parents can sleep easy.

Withthe restlessness starting to brew within me, I knew my days in Chiang Mai were numbered so I wanted to make the most of them. I stole down to th e world renown night bazaar here for a bit of fish therapy... what is this, you may ask?

And if this is still ambiguous, it is exactly what it looks like: schools of fish nibbling my feet. Something akin to waterboarding for the ticklish! I also took a hike to the oldest temple in the city Chang Man Wat where the famous (and slightly underwhelming) Crystal Buddha is housed.

We also hit up a muay thai match including three rounds of kids as young as 11 boxing (witnessed a k.o. which was crazy), a round of women boxing, a round of blindfolded boxing, and then the main event. It was a pretty intense experience.

We also went up to a mountsintop temple, Doi Suthep, which was gorgeous. I get blessed buy a monk with holy water before screwing up all my good luck by accidentally putting out one of their candles... good move, dufus.

Anyway, I've been meeting some awesome people, including a couple of fellas from MA and NC whose are stomping around the planet shooting high res sequencing photos for companies to finance their voyage. I also befriended this really cool cst from Baltimore who left his 9-5 ExxonMobil engineering gig to wander the earth interviewing fun people on his podcast (walking the earth podcast). These kind of people inspire me, those that have the guts to leave it all behind for the prospect of a fun, happy future.

Alright this is droning on. I just got to Pai - a legendary hippy enclave in thailand - and am staying at the Pai Circus School. The fire show is about to start so I'm out! Later!